A Working Parent Mentor Can Make All the Difference in Your Career

A Working Parent Mentor Can Make All the Difference in Your CareerA Working Parent Mentor Can Make All the Difference in Your CareerMy early days as a working parent were mora complicated than I ever expected. I would attend a new mommy group made up of highly degreed and accomplished women, but none of us had a clue as to how to successfully return to work- or even whetherbei all of us would.When I met clothing designer Amy Coe, she welches just a few years ahead of me in raising her daughter, but her confidence and success were light years ahead of mine. She took me under her wing and helped me navigate the trickiest job I would ever have being a working parent.She was an excellent mentor on all levels, and I truly cant imagine how my career wouldve gone without her.Being a working parent is elend something you ease into, nor is it something that gets simpler with time. From managing childcare for the first time to figuring out how to pump at work or manage office politics when you r kid is constantly sick, the list of new demands is endless and relentless. So its important to glean tips from people whove done it before.But my own experience reminds me of the importance of one particular resource that many successful people dont discuss often enough a working parent mentor.Typically, a professional mentor would help you with career guidance, networking, resume advice, whatever. A working parent mentor follows the same basic idea, but is more specialized. This person is your go-to contact with insights to help you navigate your way through the minefields you didnt even know existed.Whats the best way to manage your parental leave, or your sometimes-difficult return to work? What are some tips for getting out of the house in the morning now that you have a baby to wrangle? Are there support groups or specific benefits at your company to help working parents?Lauren Smith Brody, author of The Fifth Trimester The Working Moms Guide to Style, Sanity, and Big Success After Baby, underscores the power of parental mentoring One powerful way we can help new working parents is by recognizing the tremendous development and growth that goes on during the Fifth Trimester, or the period right after the newborn haze, when many moms return to work.Working dads need mentors, too.All too frequently engaged dads are penalized at work- often for simply taking paternity leave at all. Finding other working dads is essential on a personal level, and maybe even on a societal level. After all, the more men encourage each other to actually take the parental leave theyre entitled to, the less stigmatized itll become.Where to Find a Working Parent MentorDepending on the size and diversity of the company you work for, the perfect would-be mentor may sit just a few desks over. That co-worker who runs out in the middle of the day when daycare calls to say her toddler has a fever? The one with macaroni art adorning his desk? Theyre the ones.I mentor because it was not a lways easy for me and Ive got plenty of great information to share, information I wish someone would have given me, says Megan Darmody, Director of Press, Events and Partnerships at UrbanStems.Some things you might look for in an ideal working parent mentorA parent whose kids are older than yours. When youre dealing with a teething baby, it can be refreshing to speak with someone whos way past that point- to remind you that this stage is temporary, and that youll probably look back on ansicht days more fondly than youd expect. Someone with more experience can lend both advice and perspective.Someone in your industry, or at least with a fairly similar job. After all, a self-employed freelancer might not have many insights for you about how to navigate office politics, and someone who sits behind a computer all day may not be much help if youre a teacher or a doctor.If your situation is unique in any way- for example, if youre a single parent or have a child with special needs- you mi ght see if you can find a mentor who has personal experience in that area, or at least who can empathize and understand your singular challenges.Someone wholl always be kind and honest. If they pretend to be the perfect parent, theyre probably not going to be so understanding of your foibles. And if theyre so nice that they dont tell you when they think youre messing up, youre not going to learn.Your mentor doesnt necessarily have to work at your current company. You might know someone from a past job, or even from around town (meet at the gym, mentor for life?). The point is simply to find someone with valuable insights to share.Cheryl Patran, CEO of the Pump Station and Nurtury in Santa Monica, is a strong advocate of peer support. She advises, Just pick up the phone and ask that new parent you admire or respect for her ideas and feedback- she wants to help as much as you want to be supported.How to Find Your People OnlineMaybe youre the first of your friends to have a kid, or you work at a small company where there arent many other parents. If you dont have any would-be mentors in mind, consider looking for one online.Because youll likely get the best insights from people in your own industry, try searching for groups by profession. Or try one of these tipsAsk around to see if anyones heard of a group for parents in your industry (your non-parent work friends mayve heard of these resources, even if they dont need them yet).Try searching Facebook directly, as thats where many of these groups live. (For example, this group is for engineer mothers.) While some are open, many are moderated or closed groups to ensure a modicum of privacy and make members feel more comfortable about speaking freely.If you cant find a group specifically for your industry, consider joining this general group for all working moms or a regional group for parents in your area (for example, there are groups for Brooklyn moms, Atlanta moms, Denver moms, and practically everything in bet ween).Unfortunately, the options for dad groups tend to be less robust, but you might try posting (or getting your partner to post) on a local moms forum to ask whether there are active dad meetups or groups in your area. You might also check out digital resources such as Fatherly and CityDads.You might find that an online network is exactly what you need for bouncing around ideas or seeking advice. Or you might choose to seek out a one-on-one mentorship after all. These groups can be a great jumping-off point for meeting other parents nearby, and once youve made friends you can identify a few whod make for good one-on-one mentors.How a Working Parent Mentorship WorksSome mentorships are more formal than others. If you already have a rapport with this person, you might simply grab coffee and share stories about your week (or month, or however often you meet).In other cases, especially if this is someone youve met through work but arent independently friends with, you might prefer a somewhat more formalized experience. Having an agenda can prevent those awkward, So, what do you want to ask me? Umm, I dont know. Want to just chat? moments.Ideas includeStructuring your conversations around your highest high and lowest low since the last time you saw each otherSharing book suggestions (presumably about career advice or parenting, but if you both share a love of fiction, then why not?)Choosing a specific topic in advance for each meeting, such as family finances or disciplineAttending a networking mixer togetherReading and discussing inspirational stories of successful working parentsWriting out, or sharing, your bucket lists with each other- with your professional and personal goals- both as a form of bonding and to help each other discuss what youre doing to accomplish each itemVolunteering togetherTaking a class together, whether in person or through an online course (Coursera and edX have a lot of really interesting and free options, and General Assembly has ma ny classes that might help you in your day job, such as coding or marketing)How to Create Your Own Working Parent ResourcesYes, youre busy and probably dont have time for some new effort-intensive initiative- but if you dont have immediate access to the kind of mentorship you crave, you can pretty easily set up a Slack channel, monthly lunch date for the working parents in your network, or other informal opportunities to connect.For example, Jennifer Gilmore helped create a peer program at Campbells Soup. I was fresh back from maternity leave and so I understood the struggles of a parent returning to work, she says. These days, the group is known as the Campbell Parent ID Connection, and it has since expanded throughout the company via word of mouth.Of course, you could always start your own group online, too.In 2013, Louisville, Kentucky-based attorney Michelle Coughlin returned to work as a new mother. When I looked around me and felt that I was the only mom trying to balance this legal career with parenthood, I felt like I was drowning. I started MothersEsquire because I needed to know I wasnt alone out there.Her group, which started small and highly informally, has grown to be the leading voice at regional and national conferences when it comes to addressing the high attrition rate that the legal profession has come to accept as normal for women.How You Can Pay It ForwardI have a six-month-old, says one mom I know, so Im hardly an expert, but I reached out to an expectant mom at my company to let her know that Im available if she needs anything as she goes on maternity leave and when she returns. I could still use a mentor, myself, but even in these few months Ive gathered a few insights Im glad to share.As you connect with working parents and share your own earned expertise, dont keep your workplace peer-mentoring under wraps. Sharing or even presenting the impact of these programs to management can help encourage buy-in, formalize the program, and have a n even bigger impact.The bottom line is the bottom line Low-cost mentoring programs are a straightforward way for employers to help limit attrition, and they can be a point of pride. Mentoring is a valuable recruitment and retention tool, after all. The possibilities are endless, and very necessary for working parents.In my own life, Ive found that these bonds forged in the early days of parenthood really last. My mentors and I have since graduated from sharing tips about feeding babies and figuring out daycare to tips on college tours and admissionsThis article was originally published on Fabric. It has been republished here with permission.